ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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