I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
