As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
