So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
