I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
