He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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