i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize