Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
