Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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