i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
