it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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