But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
