Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize