She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
