The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
