i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
