i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
