Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
