Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
