I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
