Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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