I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
