yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
