New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize