My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
