I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
