I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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