I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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