Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
