I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
