I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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