Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
