So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
