he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I want is dick and wine.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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