I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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