who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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