so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
