I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
