we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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