i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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