Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
