In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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