dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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