my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
