Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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