there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
