There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
