I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
