So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
