So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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