why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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