11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
