It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
