can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
