Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize