She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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