On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
