guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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