no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
please come you make the beer taste better
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
