Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Panties = found
Randomize
