Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
