it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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