My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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