I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you will always have a special place in my vag
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize