I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
