Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
