i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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