Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
