Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
