He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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