Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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