Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize