she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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