she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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