im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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